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Bertram31.com General Bulletin Board

Re: Correction

Posted By: mike ohlstein
Date: Friday, 22 October 2004, at 11:54 p.m.

In Response To: Correction (bruce)

The vociferations of the learned gentleman from the country of Florida not withstanding, I would like to take this opportunity to constabulate and ejaculate.....if you will.... my own propagation of the subject matter.

When encounterating a conundrum of such magnafux....errr....magnify....ahhhh....magazine.....errr ehhh......size, complimentary procedure ducttapes that one herd the advice and pontoonications of the man wit da .50 cal. However, what should not be overbooked, (and I use that term loosely) is the simple fact that as doolie anointed Professor (erroneous, retarded) I have been blessed with a cretin knowledge of lectric, or as I like to call it.....da white mans magic.

To save time, I will circumcise the subjects of alterating current and the integrated circus.

The general hypotenuse of today's diet-tribe concerns the highly outdated garden ho's theory of letric transmission. You see.....in olden times, folks believed that lectric.....was a flow of negatively charged lectrons through some sort of static conduit. All dis negativity! Shame on all y'all. It was hacks like Maxwell and Boyle who put those preposterous motions in your ocean. Today we know that the absolute diaelectric permeability of the vacuum is inversely related to the urination of the pissoeffect, and furthermore, that the lectromoving force of lectrical tension is a derivative of second order from a square of the physics conductor by time in memoriam.

Now this may all seem fairly confiscated to the unstrained eye, but I'm here to tell you that it ain't no thang. In order to have a modern understanding of lectric, we must first memorize these simple rules:

The toe bone connected to the foot bone
The foot bone connected to the heel bone
The heel bone connected to the ankle bone

The ankle bone connected to the leg bone
The leg bone connected to the knee bone
The knee bone connected to the thigh bone

And so on.

Once this is done, there are only three things left to do.

First, using your elbone and arm bone you make a roux. Second, use your hand bone and church key to crack a beer. And finally, you use your finger bone to call someone who knows what he's doing.

Simple

Messages In This Thread

Battery Chargers
Bob S -- Thursday, 21 October 2004, at 12:36 p.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
bruce -- Thursday, 21 October 2004, at 3:52 p.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
Vic Roy -- Thursday, 21 October 2004, at 4:10 p.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
Mike Kennedy -- Thursday, 21 October 2004, at 5:15 p.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
Vic Roy -- Thursday, 21 October 2004, at 6:00 p.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
Mike Kennedy -- Friday, 22 October 2004, at 9:15 a.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
Vic Roy -- Friday, 22 October 2004, at 9:27 a.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
Scott -- Friday, 22 October 2004, at 12:32 p.m.
Re: Battery Chargers *LINK*
Chiles -- Friday, 22 October 2004, at 12:51 p.m.
Wiring
bruce -- Friday, 22 October 2004, at 5:29 p.m.
Correction
bruce -- Friday, 22 October 2004, at 5:33 p.m.
Re: Correction
Mike Kennedy -- Friday, 22 October 2004, at 5:49 p.m.
Re: Correction
mike ohlstein -- Friday, 22 October 2004, at 11:54 p.m.
Re: Correction
bruce -- Saturday, 23 October 2004, at 8:15 a.m.
Re: Correction
mike ohlstein -- Saturday, 23 October 2004, at 8:21 a.m.
Re: Correction
andre fourrier- Louisiana -- Saturday, 23 October 2004, at 12:16 p.m.
Re: Wiring
Mike Kennedy -- Friday, 22 October 2004, at 5:51 p.m.
Re: Wiring
bruce -- Friday, 22 October 2004, at 6:57 p.m.
Re: Wiring
Mike Kennedy -- Saturday, 23 October 2004, at 9:28 a.m.
Re: Wiring
Rawleigh -- Monday, 25 October 2004, at 12:40 p.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
woody -- Monday, 29 November 2004, at 10:34 p.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
Vic Roy -- Monday, 29 November 2004, at 10:45 p.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
Capt Patrick McCrary -- Tuesday, 30 November 2004, at 6:09 a.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
bruce -- Tuesday, 30 November 2004, at 8:59 a.m.
Re: Battery Chargers
mike ohlstein -- Tuesday, 30 November 2004, at 3:37 p.m.

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